Flings 101

The past few weeks have been so.... HECTIC.

With projects piling sky high (ok maybe not, i'm just exaggerating to make myself feel good that i have done some work), and exams coming up, everything is just, accumulating.

Very menacing, the datelines.

Also i have gotten myself yet another phone. LG Viewty!!! Love of my life right now. According to Ruth the tech guru, she says these kinda phones( fully touchscreen) are called candybars. And how cool is that? So cute! Haven't bling it though, except for the stylus. Just a simple straight line down it. Have learnt that less is definitely more.

ONLY for the case of blings (okay maybe sometimes more is better) and make up.

SO.... My life has been, crazy.

As usual.

And as usual i'm spending lots of time thinking how i want it to be.

What i want myself to be.

I want the simple life. Simple like, have the average boyfriend and get married (of course not now, i meant in the future.) and settle down and lead the life the average typical singaporean leads.

I also want the super interesting life of, having someone from another race or country (by another country i meant somewhere far and not from asia, and yes you guessed it someone from another race meaning "ang mohs") as a boyfriend and then get married and either stay in wherever the person comes from or stay in singapore but travel lots.

Lots and lots.

So how?

What is the verdict?

Verdict is, i'm a 180 to the first option. Though part of me wants it, but i have come to such point that i can't stop. Can't stop looking at "ang mohs".

All thanks to TRAIN.

Oh fuck, haven't told about ERMS yet.

ERMS: 

He didn't ask me to be his girl at all. He conveniently just presume i wanna be his and just called me his girlfriend in front of his friends. MCP. So naturally, i dumped him.

The dumping conversation goes,

SMS to ERMS: (something like this, can't remember the exact.) Right from the start i told you i don't wanna have a relationship just yet, not now, and not in the near future. And this won't change. And you just assume that i am your girlfriend without asking me. But that doesn't matter now, because i don't wanna have a relationship. When i said we be flings, i was serious. Nothing more but flings, and when flings starts to get serious, i back out. Don't try to change me, i don't wanna get committed and you can't change me. We were never together.

He called me back and said: Do you remember who was it that ask me what's our status now? (asked him a month back and he said i'm his girlfriend)

Me: I know i was the one who asked. But do you remember YOU are the only one saying i'm your girlfriend but i didn't say anything about you being me boyfriend? (all along is him him him man, see why i wanna dump him already? Doesn't even bother bout my opinion.)

Him: okay then i'm sorry, so all along it's me who's thinking too much. (yes you.)

Me: Nah, don't say sorry, i'm at fault too. I didn't stop you when you claimed i'm your girlfriend.

(of course it's not my fault. you don't know how to read my signals and just think too highly of yourself by telling me you know i am falling in love with you as days go by. bullshit. i didn't tell you i am not because i don't wanna crush your ego. Then again, i think i crushed you already.)

Him: And can you don't use the word i love you? Cause to me it is a really strong word. (whatever! because when you first said you love me it was a week after you know me. And how is that possible to love someone within a week? naturally i don't take that seriously so when i said i love you, i wasn't serious too.)

Me: okay.

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Cause for a few weeks i was already pondering why do i even think about being together with him. He is so..... SLOPPY.

Enough said. If i were to list out the reasons why i don't want him as a boyfriend, the list will reach Antarctica. Okay, exaggerating again. The list will be damn long and i would prefer to talk about it rather than typing it all out.

So, about the TRAIN. It's this ang moh (i call them the AM for short.)

Gosh now i have to type out all the details?

Nah i think i won't. Too lazy.

Just a brief insight.

Haha.

Yeah so i met this AM and me and my friends named him TRAIN. He's sweet. Spent some crazy and wild nights with him, two mornings cuddling, lots of time sms-ing. The ultimate fling. It was like a two weeks thing, maybe shorter. But nice. Short and sweet.

So that got me thinking. And Diana saying that AMs are better lovers does have an effect, somehow, on my thinking too. 

What is my point?

My point is TRAIN has somehow changed my thinking a little. I want the exciting life. And after him i just can't look at chinese guys anymore. And his presence for that period made me realize i really have nothing, no feelings for ERMS at all. I must remember to thank TRAIN for that. And anyway he's left for Germany. Hometown.

Meanwhile i'm here waiting for exams to come and waiting for true love to come.

NOT.

I don't believe in love anymore. Cliche and cheesy i know, but that's the truth.

What is love? I just know it brings out people's ugly side.

Anyway relationships just get boring after awhile.

Well, till then. When i find someone.

Right now, it just gets lonelier. But i believe it'll be better. Promised Ruth that i will be a traditional chicken for now till after exams.

So, no guys for now.

I WANT AND NEED TO TRAVEL!!!!! WILL TRAVEL SOON.